His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
