I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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