were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
