dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
where am i from again
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
