Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The beer is more important than you right now.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
