if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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