Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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