it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
