He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
