Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
