I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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