well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
