I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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