well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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