Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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