It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
