Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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