Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
