is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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