I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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