when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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