he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
