is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
