who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
