Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
