I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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