What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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