piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The air was thick with penises
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
