you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She told me I should be a condom model.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Damn victory sex feels great
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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