I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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