You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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