we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
