Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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