Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
