Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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