youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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