I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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