Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
