I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You can't special order awesome
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think people are normalizing furries
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
