im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
