I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
