How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
