"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
