i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
