He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
