Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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