I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
