I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
