beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
