Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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