i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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