maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
