You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
